Un rêve dans un rêve…

Nicola Samori, School of Pan, 2011

Often when I wake out of dreams the first thing I do is write down the fragments floating around in my head. The problem is if I don’t do so sometimes the dream scenarios become trapped and refuse to make way for what I need to be thinking about and working on. There’s about twenty or so ragged and dog-eared notebooks full of these which I revisit from time to time. I thought maybe I would start sharing some of them here because sometimes these scenarios blossom into bigger things. There’s stacks of them in the third Saurimonde book where I took written pieces of my actual nightmares, rearranged the elements of six or seven separate instances into one semi-cohesive supernatural nightmare sequence, then I added in the mythology and remixed them again (sort of a mild version of the cut-up technique). I think maybe that’s why when they work, they have resonance.

So here’s the fragment from this morning. I find the idea being trapped or lost within the cycles of incarnation is a theme which often permeates my subconscious.
“The room was lit by the muted television set and a haze of bluish smoke hovered in the air from the cigarette they shared between them. She didn’t think she had ever stared into someones eyes and seen herself so clearly before. The feeling frightened her because it spoke of other times and places where they had known each other. Stroking the plane from his eyebrow to cheekbone with her fingertips, she chose her words with care. “I know you.”
“So you are beginning to remember…?”

Burying her her head into the nape of his neck, she whispered against his skin, “You are not the only accidental guest on this darkened planet — I was never meant to be here either.

Will it go into the next book? Maybe. Speaking of the next book, I’ve got the outline down and it will center around the enigmatic north porch of Notre Dame de Paris, the Belle Epoch alchemists, signs, portents, and chance encounters — some of my favorite pet obsessions. Most likely it will be a supernatural thriller which I am kind of excited about writing. I feel the need to re-root myself back into the twenty-first century for a while, and put the puzzle pieces together in a different configuration. It might not work. One never knows. I loved the outline and the ideas behind Demon Priest, and it had a cracking opening, but three chapters in I realized I had made a fatal error — I’m not a strong enough writer to narrate a whole book from a male perspective. At least not that kind of book. But that is how you learn, and possibly I’ll use that first chapter for something else one day, or figure how to come at that story from another point of view when the time is right.

Here’s the prologue from Demon Priest: (another snippet of a dream).

“There was that noise again. The throbbing of drums echoed across the valley punctuated by faraway screams. Stirring, she opened her eyes to see the bright spots of firelight glowing like fireflies in the distance. Smiling to herself, she shifted on the ground near the mouth of the shallow cave. Let them celebrate me, she mused. Let them have this night to shout and dance and to make love under the stars. Soon they would be no more, like the others who came before them. She was tired now — so very tired. The time was near when she would retreat into the cool earth where she would slumber and dream in endless darkness. No one would find her there. She knew these lands like no other and indeed, she had been here before the mountains had been formed, when there was only a vast, endless ocean. Then, the tectonic plates crashed together and what was molten soon cooled as slow moving glaciers formed the first valleys. Like herself, the terrain changed and was born anew, only to become old again. The humans called out to her, shouting her name while waving their cups in the air. A giant effigy burned sending sparks flying out into the night sky as the smaller bonfires were extinguished. I will return, she promised as the weariness took hold of her again. I always do. These humans mean little more to me than insects now. Sighing one last time against the dirt, she murmured, But first, please grant me oblivion…”

There’s not a huge amount of news to be had. Currently, I’m finishing up a project I should have completed ages ago. It’s tricky and complicated and doesn’t want to follow any known set of screenwriting rules — but it is a challenge — and I do love a challenge. I only have a certain amount of time out here to get it completed so it’s been occupying most of my waking attention.

The sun is rising, the desert is stretching its sun-kissed skin, there’s coffee brewing in the kitchen, and I need to get down to writing for the day…

Much love from where the worlds touch,

S – xx

Selva Oscura – Absolution is Not an Option…




Hey there friends! Shall we take the sweet with the bitter? I’m rather a fan of the savoury myself…

First up, new, sweet business — we have a brand spanking new giveaway going on over at Goodreads! We’re giving away four print copies of our latest dark fantasy offering, Saurimonde III. All you have to do is follow the link below for your chance to win!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Saurimonde III by Melissa St. Hilaire

Saurimonde III

by Melissa St. Hilaire

Giveaway ends May 06, 2016.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

And now onto old, sort of bitter business — I found this journal entry quite by accident earlier after clicking on the wrong icon. I think it was from the end of summer 2012? When I’d started on the first Saurimonde novel — a different time and a different place, but it is evocative, and took me quite by surprise.

2012, Montsegur, France – Summer:

Selva Oscura,

There is a character, a succubus, crafting herself out of darkness and chaos, and I have a feeling she’s going to reek havoc on my new story. I don’t whether I’m birthing her into existence, or whether she is being rebirthed. Sometimes it feels like she’s using me as a conduit and has been waiting for the opportune moment to do so. 
Partial character study — the words are from a fragment of a dream.
“I’ll never forgive you and there’s a part of me that will always hate you. The feeling is irrational and rears its ugly head at a moment’s notice. I have to keep remembering — this is not my fault — I did not cause this situation — you did. Absolution is not an option. It may hurt me more, but I’ll never be there in my soul, not even if I mouth the words of your proverbial redemption. Time should heal these things and I no longer dwell on them like I once did — you no longer haunt my waking thoughts. When reminded of the past it’s more like the sudden pain of being touched with the lit end of a cigarette. I lash out at the world — of course, that’s putting it mildly, when what I really want is to rip down the fabric of creation itself. The irrational rises inside like a darkened whirlwind, an abyss without stars, like utter blackness — and it builds like the pregnant sky before a southern storm. I cannot control this — there are no reins, no brakes, no known forms of control, as it spills forth. Do you hear my voice howling in the winds? Don’t you not recognize what shimmers in the shadows? There is power there. You hang your head, cowering in shame, but if you only stood still, and raised a hand to the west, you would realize this is a gift. Go, dive deeper into the water. Hold your breath longer than you ever thought possible. Far past the murkiness and into the deep, deep, depths. Why do you deny yourself these things? She is always there waiting for you, shining in her cloak of immaculate darkness. No more celebrated now than the distant memory of a dull glint on a rusted blade.”

And that’s where it stops…

It’s scary. It’s violent. I’m well aware of where my head was at the time. I know the circumstances — but it is raw and honest. I love these fragments of dreams, and I love having forgotten them only to stumble across them at a later date. Besides the first Saurimonde novel there’s the germ on Sisters of the Wasteland in there as well. I miss the ancient spirits of the olde country and maybe they miss me too. But the time to return is not yet, although it will be soon. I bide my time as I rebuild an empire.

Much love from where the worlds touch,

S – xx

SAURIMONDE III — C’est Fini!

What a month it’s been so far! I’m sitting here in Los Angeles, basking in the hot February sunshine. It’s such a blessing after so many winters in the freezing cold of the Pyrenees, and as much as I may miss my home, I will never miss the cold.

So first —  the very good news — Saurimonde III is finished! It’s currently available on Amazon Kindle (the physical copy will be out next week) and it’s the first book launched on our newly formed Lux in Tenebris Publishing label. There will be lots more about that development in the near future — so keep an eye on this space!

Saurimonde III:

 Safety is but an illusion…
In the search for a young woman who may already be dead, the tragically lovely Saurimonde, along with her handsome consort, Sordel, travel deep within the mysterious zone where she comes under the spell of the powerful cult leader, Na Dag’ma, who, after initating her into their strange faith, sends her on a quest to find a dangerous ancient relic.

Amid a quagmire of lies, dulplicity, and collusion the veil between worlds becomes threadbare – one existence bleeding into another – as Saurimonde and Sordel wander further into a supernatural web. Upon finding what they seek, will they be able to break free? Or be forced to become the ultimate sacrifice?
It’s available here: Saurimonde III Amazon Kindle

*************
Even though it’s been an age (not really, it only feels that way) since I’ve been sequestered in the back beyond, Melissa and I managed to record a new podcast at the BTS studios as soon as I hit the ground yesterday.

In our sixteenth episode we try to get back into the swing of things after our month long break with: a show dedicated to wine lovers, like how red wine is great for sex, as well as another book by Mandy De Sandra, Fox News Fuckfest, for all your bizzaro political erotica needs! (And, yes, we forgot to turn off the A/C at the BTS studios again, damn it!).

*************

Tomorrow, we’ll be filming for our brand new super secret project that I am so excited about! Maybe I’m finally starting to travel out of the crossroads. I say this with cautious optimism because I’ve thought the same thing a couple of times over this last rather surreal and harsh year only to be knocked back to square one and told to wait. Still, all I can do is follow the signs wherever they may lead…

Much love from where the worlds touch,

S – xx

Nefarious, Beautiful & Vicious — SAURIMONDE III is gonna be a blast!

What a fabulously strange year it has been so far…
In the beginning of August, both Melissa and I instantly knew it was time to start on the next SAURIMONDE book. Almost the day after we made this decision, a friend of ours offered us her gorgeous, serene house for a couple of weeks and we jumped on the opportunity. 
For the first time since we began the SAURIMONDE journey we actually sat down together and embarked upon a treatment while in the same room.

During the other two books, I was living halfway across the world in France while Melissa was in California, and we’d tossed ideas back and forth on Skype. 

To be honest we only had the vaguest idea for an outline of the first book. The same for the second, although the writing went much faster on that one. This time we were prepared and now we are gearing up for the most raucous story yet!  

It was amazing how easy it all came together. I’m used to treatments being a hair-pulling nightmare, but this one was a joy. We spent most of the afternoon lounging in the walled front garden tossing back and forth ideas until we got stuck. Then, we’d take a break or resume the next day.

There might have been some wine drinking involved and a lot of, “Are we really going to do something that horrible to the characters? Oh yes, we are…” (Insert girlish cackling here.)

We are astounded the way the SAURIMONDE world has grown and the ways in which the story is opening up. What started as a vague idea a few years ago in a casual conversation has taken on a life of its own and become its own mythology. 

Like throwing a stone in a pond, we had no idea the way it was going to ripple and take so many weird twists and turns, but it’s been an amazing adventure and continues to be so. We cannot wait to get started writing and, if all goes according to plan, we’ll have the next book out in the fall.

And in further news…

BETWEEN THE SHEETS Episode 5 is live! “All about Orgasms, A Windows 10 warning, and A Squirrel Stalker”.

Between the Sheets with Melissa and Scarlett is a podcast about weird news, entertainment, pop culture, writing, sex, and more.

Our fifth episode explodes with an orgasm: We start off by celebrating National Orgasm Day then move onto a PSA for Windows 10 and end with the squirrels are not what they seem…

Much love from where the worlds touch,

S – xx

Through a Kaleidoscope Darkly and more…


Finally! Issue 6 of the highly regarded THE HERETIC MAGAZINE is out. For those of you interested in alternative history, lost civilizations and technologies, mysteries and conundrums, religion, the occult etc… this magazine is not to be missed! Plus — there’s an article co-written by yours truly on the fascinating life and mysterious death of the Belle Epoch alchemist, Irene Hillel Erlanger, author of VOYAGES EN KALEIDOSCOPE, who, rumor has it, gave away thermal secrets of the Great Work. 


To find out more and get your hands on a copy visit their website at: The Heretic Magazine

And now for something completely different ’cause that’s how we roll around here… Episode 4 of BETWEEN THE SHEETS WITH MELISSA AND SCARLETT is now live!

Between the Sheets with Melissa and Scarlett is a podcast about weird news, entertainment, pop culture, writing, sex, and more.

Our fourth episode is all over the place: After debunking a story from the previous episode we dive right into the gutter with insane sex toys, porn secrets, and pot!

*************

Obviously, it’s been a wild week around here. Summer is in full swing and there’s been many late nights as the creativity and synchronicites continues to flow ever onwards.

Much love from where the worlds touch,

S- xx

Laissez les Bons Temps Rouler…

Between the Sheets Episode Three is Live! 

Between the Sheets with Melissa and Scarlett is a podcast about weird news, entertainment, pop culture, writing, sex, and more.

Our third episode starts out weird and gets weirder: We tried to change it up with aliens and bigfoot but ended up with “Darth Vibrator” and anal beads! We may need to start marketing ‘mind bleach‘ at this rate…

& Sex.

More good news…! The first draft of my new book DESIRED PYROTECHNICS is finished! 80,000 words plus! There’s a still a million miles to go, but at least there’s a million more behind me now.

Here’s the dedication: “To the beaten down, the misfits, the outcasts, the dreamers, the fabulous beasts, and the saintly sinners, to those who have been knocked to the ground, gotten back up, and raised a middle finger.”

On the surface it’s a brutal tale about sex, drugs and love gone totally mad, but underneath there’s another thread about being forced to endure the long, dark night of the soul — and the people who are there to help along the way. That wasn’t the story I set out to write, but it’s the story that wanted to be told.

And in more good news…! Melissa St. Hilaire and myself are starting on the third SAURIMONDE book asap. We started batting around new ideas by the pool yesterday and there’s definitely going to be some evil cult action. We’re going to resurrect Pan, and Bazak is already making his presence known, lurking around in the shadows. I don’t know if I’m ready as a writer to take him on again as a character — he steals every scene he’s such a fictional bastard. Saurimonde is going to be a litte more bad ass this tale, having finally come into her personal power in the last one, and we’re doing our best to conjure all kinds of new daemonic trickery for our beloved heroine.

What?! You haven’t read the first two SAURIMONDE books yet? What are you waiting for?! You can find them here – Amazon

Hope your summer is going well… Mine has been more productive and more fun than I had ever imagined. The sunshine of LA, and the company of good friends, like minds and creative comrades has given me the time, space and inspiration I so sorely needed.

Will be painting on the multi-media art project SISTERS OF THE WASTELAND for the next few days. Cannot wait to share some of the images we’ve been collaborating on!

Much love from where the worlds touch,

S – xx

Between the Sheets Episode Two is Live! NSFW — and probably NSFL…!

Between the Sheets with Melissa and Scarlett is a podcast about weird news, entertainment, pop culture, writing, sex, and more.

Our second episode quickly delves into the nether regions: It’s the unofficial vagina con in the BTS studio. Weird vagina facts, yoni yogurt, to rabbit or not to rabbit and more!

And here’s a glimpse behind the scenes of us hard at work:

Just so people know — that’s a fake Star Trek phaser I’m pointing at Melissa and myself. Sucks I even have to mention such a thing in this overly PC day and age, but there you go! And here I go to…

Much love from where the worlds touch,

S – xx

Between the Sheets – Episode One is Live!

So…

The new super secret project with Melissa St. Hilaire, my SAURIMONDE co-writer, can finally be revealed. We’re doing a weekly podcast, ‘BETWEEN THE SHEETS – WITH  MELISSA & SCARLETT – LIKE YOU, ONLY MORE PERVERSE’.

We’ll be talking about weird news, entertainment, pop culture, writing, sex, and more sex!

Our first episode starts with a bang: It’s the unofficial penis festival in the BTS studio. Glitter, pet names, voyeurism, etc etc! And before I forget to mention it, this podcast is NSFW — not by any stretch of the imagination, so don’t even go there.

Links:

Between the Sheets on itunes

Between the Sheets on Feedburner

Between the Sheets on Soundcloud

Between the Sheets official website

Little word of warning — if women talking explicitly about sex frightens you, and you don’t possess a sense of humour, then don’t listen, okay?

Personally, my favorite part was the whole ‘soak your dick for Jesus’ fandago. The phrase is now on constant rotation around here. I also love the fact that Melissa sounds like a professional NPR person, only everything which comes out of her mouth is wrong. It so works.

So… at the end of each segment we’re going to do an ‘ask us anything’ piece. We want to hear from you! Send us your questions to:
melissa@betweenthesheets69.com
scarlett@betweenthesheets69.com

Much love from where the worlds touch,

S -xx

p.s. I’m also featured this week on the fantastic site, Feminine Power Circle, talking about the bravest thing I’ve ever done which can be found here

p.p.s. Thanks to every one who has sent us their questions and ideas over the Facebook page — keep them coming — we’re all ears!