All right… I’ve tried to make this post a few times now, but like the contrary creature I am, I keep changing my mind. Quite possibly it’s because this new book is such a radical departure from anything I’ve written before. There’s parts I adore and there’s parts that make me nervous. I’ll shut up now and just fucking post a piece of the beast
“I wandered through an unknown countryside with rolling hills and jagged peaks in the distance which looked like broken teeth. Pockets of low lying, heavy fog encircled me, impeding my way forward. There was an abandoned farmhouse which looked like it had been rotting for years and the earth had reclaimed the land. I went to take a closer look when it occurred to me I may not want to. Nothing lived in this landscape. This is where time had stopped and I was somehow trapped there. Which might have meant that I wasn’t alive any more. Was I dead? I couldn’t remember. There’d been some kind of tragedy which had made time stop but I couldn’t recall what it was even if it was on the tip of my tongue. If I could remember what had happened then I might have a chance of making my way out of there. The fog wove its way around me again until it physically pressed down on me and I thought I was suffocating…
I awoke with a start. My heart pounded and I was gasping for air. Night had fallen and the room was pitch black. For a moment I was so disoriented I couldn’t remember where I was and thought I was still trapped within the dreamscape. I laid there peering into the darkness until I saw the outline of the marble fireplace from across the room. My heart rate slowed. The dream didn’t return and I crawled out of bed and limped downstairs to see if Tabby was there. I needed confirmation someone else was alive.
All the lights were off as I bumped around the kitchen in search of a clock that I never found. With my good hand, I poured myself a glass of wine and went outside into the garden to look at the stars. Even as a small child staring at the stars had been a source of comfort to me. Sitting in a black corded lounge chair, I traced the Milky Way with my finger as it spanned the sky like a celestial spine. Sipping the wine, I listened for the frogs singing down by the river, but they were silent which meant it must have been the wee hours of the morning. It was all so peaceful, but the anxiety I felt with every beat of my heart wouldn’t lessen. Emotionally, what I was facing was blacker than the night and no stars were going to save me. Nothing was going to save me
… I prayed to the skies for a respite. Give me vast fields of sunflowers as far as the eye could see. Give me anything which resembled a distraction. Give me drugs or alcohol. Give me a lover’s arms. Give me anything to take the pain away and make me forget for a while,
I pleaded. Please don’t let me crack up…”
These last couple of weeks have been insanely creative. I’m extremely thankful to have the time and headspace but I’m stretched thin and only pushing harder. Did take a night off to go out dancing under the full moon and spent the next day at the beach crashing around in the waves and climbing over slippery rocks exploring formerly unknown sandy stretches of shore.
And we managed to get another podcast done which I will post below. It’s been so much fun getting the feedback from these crazy things. And no, they’re never scripted.
Between the Sheets with Melissa and Scarlett
is a podcast about weird news, entertainment, pop culture, writing, sex, and more.
Our sixth episode is all touchy feely: From arranging your junk and surprising boob facts to foot orgasms and bizarro dinosaur porn!
Hope you all are enjoying these last dog days of summer. So much change is in the wind…
Much love from where the worlds touch,
S – xx